Change is afoot

Ready or not

Change is uncomfortable, yet often unavoidable. I always laugh with my friend Lorna that I am useless at change, that it makes me cry, but somehow I still seem to invite it in.

In the past, I was better at it. I’d change jobs at least every three years, plus we moved countries several times without being too fazed. But as I get older, it definitely becomes harder. Perhaps because the stakes are higher. There’s more to balance: home life, my writing, my other half’s travel. So when I was faced with a crossroads recently, I panicked. I questioned everything, going over it again and again, until one night I didn’t sleep a wink. Not ideal in your late 40s let me tell you!

Maxed out on caffeine, I made my decision the next day and went with my gut. Or at least what my gut was telling me at the time…

From experience, the run-up to change is always harder than the reality of it. In the build-up to our big moves to and from Geneva, I’d be fractious and stressed, but once I was living the change, I quietly got on with it. As someone who catastrophises, too much time to think means I’ve imagined every worst-case scenario ten times over.

This time, I’m leaving a job where I’ve felt safe and valued for seven and a half years. That’s no small thing, especially if, like me, you’ve had roles that were more challenging. It’s also a place where I’ve made friends for life. Friends I’ve belly-laughed with most days, who’ve kept me sane through the highs and lows of corporate life, and who know me better than I know myself. That’s hard to leave behind. But then I remind myself that we’ll still be on speed dial. That won’t change.

Looking back through photos from my time at work, I’m reminded of all the fun I’ve had, all the random and ridiculous moments. Trips to Doha that were incredible – being let loose on an electric scooter and nearly meeting an untimely end; feeling like my face might melt off while wearing a hard hat and trying to look professional; and, most importantly, meeting some of the loveliest people. Real good for the soul friends.

Closer to home, there have been dodged drones, ghostly mannequins manhandled, and s’mores made with little ones. The funniest of times. My kids have grown up while I’ve been working here. They loved visiting the lush pool at weekends and running free on the stunning campus. Such special memories as a family, as well as my own.

But now it’s time for a fresh start. New beginnings. Time to stretch myself and see what else I can do.

Endings are always hard, in writing and in life, but you wouldn’t have them without a strong beginning and a middle brimming with plot twists and character development. When one chapter ends, another begins. Change really does lend itself to book analogies.

I’m sure there will be lots of tears and a last minute wobble (strap in), but it feels right in my bones. An exciting summer ahead with a new role, book-related adventures, and family time in the sun.

Change can be good - she reminds herself multiple times a day!